Sober
by hersheygal
Summary: Jack promises Kate that he will get sober. But before he can show her that he has changed, Kate is killed in a tragic car crash that tears Jack apart. But he still stays sober for her. One shot songfic. Mentions of drugs and character death.Finale spoiler


Sober

Disclaimer: I don't own LOST or this song.

A/N: The song for this fic is called Sober by Kelly Clarkson. It's off her new album if you want to check it out. There's kind of spoilers for the finale in here, so don't read if you haven't seen it!

_And I don't know  
This could break my heart or save me  
Nothing's real  
Until you let go completely  
So here I go with all my thoughts I've been saving  
So here I go with all my fears weighing on me_

Jack sat at his car at the gravesite, clutching a single flower. He remmebered when he had begged Kate for another chance. All he wanted was her, but she didn't want him like that. She knew that Jack could do it, get over his addiction, so she had told him that if he got sober, and stayed sober, that she would see him again, they could start over. At the time, he had grabbed a flower from a bush a few feet away from her apartment, and gave it to her, as a promise that he would get sober for her.

_Three months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers  
But I know it's never really over_

Jack stepped out of his car and slowly walked over to Kate's grave. He'd been sober for two months the night that she died. He'd called her to tell her, asking if he could see her. She had been doubtful, but had told him that she was willing to see him.

But then she died that night in a car crash and he never got a chance to see her, to give her the bouquet of flowers he'd picked for her. Instead, they had gotten placed on her grave, three days later. Jack remembered the day he put those flowers on her grave. He'd been a mess, but everytime he reached for the drugs, something stopped him. So that day, at the grave, he promised her to never be like he had been before.

_And I don't know  
I could crash and burn but maybe  
At the end of this road I might catch a glimpse of me  
So I won't worry about my timing, I want to get it right  
No comparing, second guessing, no not this time_

Since her death, Jack hadn't been the same. He hardly ever worked at the hospital anymore and he didn't talk to anyone, just to her. It had been three months since her death and he had managed to stay sober and that's what he clinged to.

_Three months and I'm still breathing  
Been a long road since those hands I left my tears in but I know  
It's never really over, no_

At times, Jack wanted to give up, and he'd almost given up more than once. He'd gone back to that bridge more than once in the last three months, but he'd always come back down, because he knew it wasn't what she wanted. But he desperately wanted to join her, wanted to see her again.

_Three months and I'm still standing here  
Three months and I'm getting better yeah  
Three months and I still am_

Jack read the gravestone that he had read so many times before.

_Kate Shephard_

_Loving wife and mother_

_1974-2007_

Jack tried to remember the joy he had experienced when they had learned that Kate was pregnant. It seemed like such a long time ago, when it had only been a few years. Then he was reminded of the pain they had experienced when their young daughter had died from a rare disease, and he fell to his knees,reading the gravestone again with blurred vision.

_Three months and it's still harder now  
Three months I've been living here without you  
Three months yeah, three months  
_Jack closed his eyes, trying to remember how she looked, how she tasted, how she made him feel. He missed her.

_Three months and I'm still breathing  
Three months and I still remember it  
Three months and I wake up_

The flower in Jack's hand fell in the grass, and Jack stood up, reading the gravestone one more time, before returning to his car. He drove back to the bridge, and three days later, a gravestone stood beside Kate's.

_Three months and I'm still sober  
Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers_


End file.
